Inside Bush's "Surge" Diary: Slip-Slidin' Away
By Bernard Weiner
Co-Editor, The Crisis Papers
July 17, 2007
Even though every day is a battle -- my enemies are always attacking me
-- I think we'll make it to the January 2009 finishing line. Once the
Dems announced that impeachment was "off the table," I knew everything
would be OK.
Without that club to hold over our heads, all those wimpy Dems can do
for the next year and a half is kick and scream -- political tantrums
that we just ride out.
Those weak-kneed Democrats are so predictable. They hold a one-day
congressional hearing and invite a few witnesses to make their case or
command that our folks appear so they can get a tongue-lashing and maybe
make a mistake that will invite perjury charges. We make those witnesses
know how important loyalty is, rehearse them with the narrative we want,
or we keep them from appearing at all.
Our big guns -- Condi, Rummy, Alberto and so on -- are skilled at how to
bob and weave their way through a congressional grilling. End result:
the Dems get next to nothing, move on to their next issue, and it's
tantrum time again. Fuck 'em!
When the Dems cite one of our people for contempt of Congress, the clash
of Executive and Legislative powers will become a "Constitutional
Crisis" and wend its way into the courts. That means more delays, which
is fine with us; but Dick and Karl think we'll do OK in the courts
We didn't spend six years packing the appeals courts for nothing and, as
a final back-up, we've always got our 5-4 majority on the Supreme Court.
Can't believe they let Alito and Roberts glide right in. Now we're
locked and loaded.
VULNERABLE ON THE IRAQ WAR
Iraq is the only real danger issue now. We don't mind a little chaos
over there -- which makes America the one force of possible stability --
but Christ, it's a fucking civil war, and even our Green Zone in Baghdad
is being mortared and rocketed daily! Even so, Dick and Karl are
positive we can slip-slide our way through to September when Gen.
Petraeus will deliver his major findings.
Petraeus knows who brung him to the dance. We can count on him to
deliver another "we're-making-progress" report card and ask for another
six-months to reach the "positive tipping point" in Iraq. Despite a few
Republican defectors in the Senate, the rest of our GOP allies are
holding tight enough to keep the Dems from ramming through their
surrender bills and defeatist amendments.
Then next year we just repeat the "six-months-more" spin-cycle and we'll
have made our way through the November 2008 elections.
I'm The Cogitator; I can see what'll happen in the election campaign:
The mood of the country is decidedly against the
war, but the Democrats can be counted on to make big mistakes,
starting with who they nominate (come on, Hillary!); then the
swiftboating can begin.
The Dems, in their desire to look strong on
national-security, will back away from really taking us on with
regard to both Iraq and the "war on terrorism"; they can smell the
"unpatriotic" odor that we'll spray on them;
The Dems will use the health-care buzzwords but will
stay away from a universal, single-payer plan;
The Democrats will cooperate in maintaining pretty
much the same vote-counting system as before, which will help our
well-placed friends, how shall we say?, ensure that we do much
better on Election Day than the last-minute polls indicate.
On the other hand, more and more respected GOP senators
are starting to publicly express their doubts about our war policy. I
mean, when Republican codgers like Lugar and Warner and Domenici start
leaving the reservation, something potentially bad is going on. Sure, I
know they've got to cover their political asses and pander to the
electorate that's turned against the war, still those guys have clout
and I need at least to appear to to be paying attention to what they
say, even while I continue staying the course. As long as John McCain
has my back, I figure I'm safe.
Worst of all, we've been saying for years that if the Iraqis ask us to
leave, we'll leave, knowing full well that the leaders we've maneuvered
into positions of power in Iraq would never utter that desire, at least
not in public. Well, they now have openly said it (what's al-Malicki
been smoking?). I have no intention of America leaving -- at least not
while I'm still in the White House. We'll finesse an invitation to stay
"temporarily," which will stretch out a decade or two. I will not be
seen as a loserman, not ever again.
KARL'S OPTIMISTIC ABOUT 2008
Karl tells me he's got the 2008 election under control, but he said that
in 2006 as well and that was a disaster. He and I already have started
ratcheting up the fear machine -- al-Qaida's goin' to getcha -- figuring
that bringing out the terrorism bogeyman is good for at least one more
round. Of course, that means going back to connecting the "al-Qaida"
that bombed us on 9/11 to the "al Qaida in Mesopotamia" now in Iraq --
not an easy trick, but the American people are dumber than a bag of
rocks and will just get confused and come to accept what we say.
Karl has made sure to hammer the "support the troops" mantra, which the
Dems have bought into by continuing to fund the war. That, plus Karl is
firming up the fundamentalist base, throwing them hunks of red meat:
abortion, gay marriage, Michael Moore, Hillary Clinton, etc. That should
keep them in our corner through 2008. And "Turdblossom" also is readying
his dirty-tricks playbook in key states, which will start with the usual
deletion of hundreds of thousands of likely Dem supporters from the
official voting rolls.
But 2006 showed us, and recent events confirm it, that it sure ain't
going to be easy in 2008. Thanks largely to the goddamn war, my approval
numbers are in the toilet (in the 20s for me, and Dick is even worse at
13%!), and the Republican Party's ratings aren't much higher. GOP
scandals are so widespread -- corruption, sex, coverups, etc. -- that
it's hard to generate support and donations. Thankfully, the Dems fare
only a little better in the polls, since they're so namby-pamby and
The point is that our Administration is so far down, we have little to
lose these days. When we're aiding in the bombing of Iran's nuclear
facilities, I won't have to worry about the public reaction. We'll still
have our fundamentalist base, and we'll already have lost most of the
others anyway. Nowhere to go but up, which will happen when folks rally
around The Leader in a "time of war," giving us a booster shot of
support. I can't wait; I hate being made the butt of jokes and nobody
listening to me any more. I am the President, damn it! I am the
GOD WANTED ME TO SMITE IRAQ
I know it doesn't look good now, but I'm convinced deep down that
history will redeem me. I know that God chose me to lead the country in
2000, and wanted me to bring His word and democracy and free-markets to
the heathens in the Middle East and elsewhere. He won't let me down.
History will confirm that I made all the right choices during my eight
years in office, even if others screwed up on occasion in carrying out
Which brings me back to the Iraq mess. The U.S. will need to maintain a
large presence in the region for decades; our military bases inside
Iraq, along with the huge new embassy, were designed with that in mind.
That's my legacy, damn it -- to convince the Islams to join the 21st
century, by force of arms if necessary; I am the saviour of the
Christian West. I am the President. I am the Smiter. I will not be
At the least, I will not allow myself to be blamed for the loss of Iraq.
Dick's original war-plan was correct, though those in charge on the
ground may have made a mistake or two in execution. We're already
working to find those who can be blamed for the debacle: the Iraqis, for
not meeting our benchmarks for success; the American people, for not
having the patience to stick with our war plan, which will be successful
eventually; the Democrats, for undercutting our war effort at every
turn; the CIA and State Department and Pentagon, for leaking like sieves
about classified military matters and scandals; the liberal media,
anxious for America to lose; and, if we have to, Gen. Petraeus for not
moving fast enough to stabilize the situation, etc. etc.
Add to Iraq the bad press we're getting on the Scooter-amnesty fallout,
the Abramoff influence-buying scandal, the U.S. Attorneys coverup that
is barely holding, the post-Katrina disaster, our policy permitting
torture, and so on, and the Republicans could be in big trouble. And
Dick and me and could be in some legal jeopardy.
We need the GOP in charge of Congress and we need Republicans in the
White House after we leave, in case pardons are necessary. If absolutely
necessary, we could have Dick resign -- for "health reasons," of course
-- and appoint an heir apparent, maybe Romney or Fred Thompson or Condi,
giving the replacement V.P. a leg up for 2008.
WE CONTROL THE JUDICIAL SYSTEM
Thank goodness we've still got control of the Department of Justice; "Fredo"
is a good little A.G., a consistent loyal lapdog. And we've got the U.S.
attorneys, and much of the court system. They'll be there to protect us
if and when impeachment and criminal charges become a reality. (Note to
myself: Get Gonzales to keep Fitzgerald from testifying to Congress
about Libby and Cheney!)
In addition to having Justice in our corner, we've still got other
powerful ammo in reserve. For one, we've got the Dem-approved provision
permitting us to declare martial law if the situation in the country
demands it; we should consider doing that sometime before Election Day
next year, and rule by decree.
In short, even if the Dems foolishly go after us in terms of
impeachment, they're not going to get anywhere. And if by some fluke
enough Republicans start deserting us in order to get re-elected, we
have to let them know that we'll take 'em all down with us if and when
we go. Damn it, I'm so frustrated and angry, I'll take the whole bloody
country down with us, if I have to. That'll show 'em. I am not a loser.
Copyright 2007, by Bernard Weiner
Bernard Weiner, Ph.D., has taught
government & international relations at universities in California and
Washington, worked as a writer/editor at the San Francisco Chronicle for two
decades, and currently serves as co-editor of The Crisis Papers (www.crisispapers.org).
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